|The Aspiring Messenger of Uninhibitionism: Mrs. Melania Trump|
In an exclusive hand-written statement delivered to ЯP offices in an envelope sealed with perfumed organic glue and bearing the mark of her lips, and transported in a briefcase handcuffed to the wrist of a male stripper with a fluid sexual persuasion, as he a point of asserting, aspiring First Lady Melania Trump explained that, just Mrs. Clinton proposed to hand over the reins of the nation’s economy to her husband, former President, Bill Clinton, she, too, managed to prevail on her husband and convince him of entrusting her with the nation’s education system.
“I want to teach our children about trusting themselves and letting go of their inhibitions.” She wrote. “I want them to know that image is everything, and that a brand that has a well-managed image gets imprinted on your mind and can never go out of style. And our kids don’t want to go out of style, do they?”