Friday, June 3, 2016

Uninhibited Messaging

The Aspiring Messenger of Uninhibitionism: Mrs. Melania Trump 


In an exclusive hand-written statement delivered to ЯP offices in an envelope sealed with perfumed organic glue and bearing the mark of her lips, and transported in a briefcase handcuffed to the wrist of a male stripper with a fluid sexual persuasion, as he a point of asserting, aspiring First Lady Melania Trump explained that, just Mrs. Clinton proposed to hand over the reins of the nation’s economy to her husband, former President, Bill Clinton, she, too, managed to prevail on her husband and convince him of entrusting her with the nation’s education system.
“I want to teach our children about trusting themselves and letting go of their inhibitions.” She wrote. “I want them to know that image is everything, and that a brand that has a well-managed image gets imprinted on your mind and can never go out of style. And our kids don’t want to go out of style, do they?”

We might never know seeing that most of “our kids” were not available for comment, seeing that they had better things to do, while those who were there were busy staring at the messenger with their mouths wide open, but probably not their minds. As for those who seem to have gotten the message, they all went out on an emptiness-induced killing rampage before we got a chance to talk to them.

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