Saturday, May 21, 2016

QarDaeshian Exposed!

Finally, Unmasked and Uncovered! Qim QarDaeshian’s last fig leaf has fallen

Following on the heels of our previous edition’s interview with renowned public intellectual, Qim QarDaeshian, which some have found as “shocking” and “unusually audacious,” even by the sultry cuddly poultry’s quixotic standards, comes this no less jarring revelation: KIM KARDASHIAN: SECRET AGENT WOMAN.

Yes Officials in Iran have actually accused Mrs. QarDaeshian “of being a spy who posts revealing photos on Instagram in an attempt to corrupt young people.” For his part, Iran’s Supreme Leader, Ali Khamenei, said, through his spokesfiend, Nukedealis Ashamenei, that he “would have no problem whatsoever having this particular spy shag me if by doing so I can save the vulnerable youths of my befucked nation.”

When DDGD’s ЯeveЯsed Polarity (ЯP) did the interview with Mrs. QarDaeshian, it expected that this would mark the first and last time that it will have to stoop to such lofty lows, but the delirium was strong in this one, and so here we go again.

“What do you make of this, Mrs. QarDaeshian?” We asked the protagonist during a quick snapchat interview. “I don’t know,” she replied. “Now that my cover is really blown, I guess I just have to roll with it, retire and dedicate myself fulltime to pursuing my career as a reality TV star, even as I continue to pursue a triple PhD in handjobology, deliriology and voodoonomics.” But, the mega sign of our current disenchantment with the current global order added, “I have to admit that I have learnt much from my years as an agent of imperialist cultural supervision, and I am indeed quite proud of what I have managed to accomplish with the little I had to show for it.”

With this ЯeveЯsed Polarity believes that we have probably seen everything from Mrs. QarDaeshian, or so one hopes.

As for Iran’s ability to keep itself safe from the QarDaeshian Influence, the battle seems to be already lost.

A woman teacher in the capital said: “This is a country where prostitutes freely advertise on social media and look for customers in the streets, but educated and professional women end up in jail.”


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