Having Angelina
Jolie teach a course at the London School of Economics and George
Clooney another at the Georgetown makes far more sense than listening to a lecture on moral awakening from a president who long lost his moral compass and
is actually “proud” of what he did in Syria. The Polarity of our moral compass
has indeed been ЯeveЯsed.
Saturday, May 28, 2016
Monday, May 23, 2016
Mr. Edge
How does a person with great
vision express himself? ЯeveЯsed Polarity wanted to know. But
having vowed not to impose ourselves on her Poultriness, Mrs. Qim QarDaeshian,
we went to the next best available alternative: her current beau, Mr. Qanye
West, who graced us with this statement:
A great man with a great vision has only two choices when it comes to expressing his vision to the world: he either lies uncontrollably or blabbers uncontrollably. Honesty is no longer a trait that is appreciated, nor is comprehensibility. Meanwhile, delusions of grandeur, justified or not, are the real-mind expanding drug of our time. This is what gives one a survival edge, what makes social Darwinism, in its purest unmitigated form, possible. Just think about it. Or is too real for you?
Saturday, May 21, 2016
QarDaeshian Exposed!
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Finally, Unmasked and Uncovered! Qim QarDaeshian’s last fig leaf has fallen |
Following on the heels of our
previous edition’s interview with renowned public intellectual, Qim QarDaeshian,
which some have found as “shocking” and “unusually audacious,” even by the
sultry cuddly poultry’s quixotic standards, comes this no less jarring
revelation: KIM
KARDASHIAN: SECRET AGENT WOMAN.
Yes Officials in Iran have
actually accused Mrs.
QarDaeshian “of being a spy who posts revealing photos on Instagram in an
attempt to corrupt young people.” For his part, Iran’s Supreme Leader, Ali
Khamenei, said, through his spokesfiend, Nukedealis Ashamenei, that he “would
have no problem whatsoever having this particular spy shag me if by doing so I
can save the vulnerable youths of my befucked nation.”
When DDGD’s ЯeveЯsed Polarity (ЯP)
did the interview with Mrs. QarDaeshian, it expected that this would mark the
first and last time that it will have to stoop to such lofty lows, but the
delirium was strong in this one, and so here we go again.
“What do you make of this, Mrs.
QarDaeshian?” We asked the protagonist during a quick snapchat interview. “I
don’t know,” she replied. “Now that my cover is really blown, I guess I just
have to roll with it, retire and dedicate myself fulltime to pursuing my career
as a reality TV star, even as I continue to pursue a triple PhD in
handjobology, deliriology and voodoonomics.” But, the mega sign of our current
disenchantment with the current global order added, “I have to admit that I
have learnt much from my years as an agent of imperialist cultural supervision,
and I am indeed quite proud of what I have managed to accomplish with the
little I had to show for it.”
With this ЯeveЯsed
Polarity believes that we have probably seen everything from Mrs. QarDaeshian, or so one
hopes.
As for Iran’s ability to keep
itself safe from the QarDaeshian Influence, the
battle seems to be already lost.
A woman teacher in the capital
said: “This is a country where prostitutes freely advertise on social media and
look for customers in the streets, but educated and professional women end up
in jail.”
Saturday, May 14, 2016
The QarDaeshian Stance
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The empowering yet fabric-conservative attire Ms. QarDaeshian wore for her lecture at Harvard never risked detracting from the sheer power of her message. |
Qim QarDaeshian: Should
Drumpf become president, I might have to break the internet again!
In a brief interview with reality
TV star, Qim QarDaeshian, moments before she gave her much awaited and hugely
attended lecture at the Harvard
T.H. Chan School of Public Health on the dangerous public health
implications of passing laws forcing transgender parents to identify with their
least favorite children, the sultry public intellectual said to be seriously
considering running for the high office herself at some point in the future,
made clear what she really thought about the possibility that Donald Drumpf
might be elected as the 47th President of the United States.
“If this happened,” she warned, “it will be on account of the shameful
tergiversations of the Republican establishment who failed to take a clear
stand against the rampant racism and misogyny of the man.” But, she continued,
“it will also come as a reflection of our failure to educate voters from both
political camps them as to the real and dangerous implications of this man’s
facile policy proposal, the like of which we have not heard since the time
Dufus Uproarius ran for a seat in the Roman Senate as a member of the Enslave
and Fuck Party.”
But, would she do to help prevent
or deal with that, our RP minds wanted to know. Will she contemplate breaking
the internet again? “I don’t like to resort to such radical measures very time
this country goes through a crisis, but this would not be an ordinary crisis.
So, yes, I will have no choice but to break the internet again should Drumpf
become president.”
And how would you accomplish that
this time?
“Rather than precariously
balancing a champagne glass on my buttocks, I might have to insert the man
himself, hands, ego and all right up there. It’ll be a mercy killing of sorts,
but America deserves no less of me.”
Attempts to solicit a response
from the Drumpf Campaign have failed to produce a response.
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